Before I get into my post, I just want to say thank you to all the people that take the time out to read my blog and comment. It really means a lot and reminds me why I should keep it going. If you’ve been wondering about my absence, it’s because I have been traveling and I haven’t had much access to the internet. On to the post!
Did my husband give me a lesson on parenting the other day or what! I am still in shock over it but so happy with his parenting skills. Masha’Allah.
Usually, I need to do my due diligence and be armed with a logical explanation including researched sources for just about every little thing with my husband – why the baby needs to be swaddled, breastfed, why the baby needs a bow (hehe). And half of the time, he finds most of the things I read in my parenting magazines and online to be ridiculous – and half of those times I end up agreeing. In general, he voices his approval of “tough” parenting methods, while I claim to be more with “gentle/loving methods – firmness only when required” type of methods. For that reason, I really thought it would be challenging for us to be in tune with one another on parenting methods.
When she began to show signs of temper tantrums and other difficult behaviors, I reminded my husband that we needed to make sure we remained gentle and loving with her, because they do not understand what is going on before the age of one and are just learning how to express their emotions. Well, I broke my rule. I was beginning to get frustrated when she would touch things or grab things – my hijab, phone, hair, etc – and grip hard. No one told me babies are strong! I would respond by saying her name angrily, use the word “no” with an angry look plentifully, pry objects out of her hands, and occasionally – I admit – snatch it away roughly. Most of the time, she would respond with anger and tears. The crying would not end until she got whatever it was back in her hands.
The other day, she had his phone and he showed me how he gently but firmly asked her for it back. She took a second but put it right in his hands without a fight or tears. He would reward her by saying, “good job”, which always puts a smile on her face. And he would give her something more appropriate for her to play with. It was something I had read and told him about a few weeks ago, and now he was applying so well. Masha’Allah. I am amazed that he was listening and so pleased at not only his gentleness with her but with teaching me as well.
Alhamdulillah for good husbands and fathers.